by Grace Miskovsky
i like standing on the subway, usually,
but often,
i can feel the eyes of strangers
who i didn’t ask to look at my butt,
crawling all over my humanity like
a kid tracking their sticky fingers all over the countertop.
i just
i would rather stand
than sit,
and switch seats every time someone sits too close
or their finger worms towards me and grips the bottom of my thigh.
when i’m standing, i can say,
yes,
i see you waving me over to sit down with you
(in an empty car)
but no thank you, i am ok
standing.
i would rather stand
because it is the only way i feel powerful enough to maintain
eye contact with eyes that hold on too long,
to make them look away first.
i would rather stand
even though it’s not a remedy for that dude who just winked at me as he got off at 34th
(he got the last word in before i could even open my mouth).
and now i’m distracted,
because a pretty girl just saty down across from me and i can’t stop
looking at her.
are my eyes unwanted?
my stop’s here
thank god.